Rules

OK. We had a long list of rules before, and some of them were probably silly. On the other hand, experience suggests that we do need rules, and we like to think we give people fair warning before kicking them out. So this is hopefully a slimmed-down only-what-we-need set of rules. Each one is accompanied by some rationale. If we change them, we'll post in this thread so that it pops up on your "unread posts since last visit" list and "unread posts in this category" list and so on.

You MUST read the rules.
Not reading the rules implies you have no respect for the forum community. It implies that you don't care how the forum works or who you annoy, and we don't want people like that around here. If you try to use 'I didn't know that was against the rules' as a defence for breaking the rules, you get banned - no two ways about it.
Some sub-forums, particularly those in the Forbidden Pleasure category, may have their own more-specific rules. If they do, they'll be pinned in obvious 'Rules' threads in those categories. Read those too.
You MUST NOT spam.
For 'spam', here, we mean 'post shit which isn't contributing to the forum'.
- Advertising random things doesn't contribute to the forum - we don't mind you linking to your DeviantArt account, your webcomic or your homepage, or even the book of comics you have for sale, 'cause that's something CA people might be interested in. But we don't want you linking to one of those stupid 'see how many people you can trick into clicking your link' games or porn sites or whatever.
- Being totally inane doesn't contribute to the forum - if you want to generate thread after thread of meaningless shit, go to 4chan. I hear they like people like you over there.
- Generally, "post your top ten movies" or "post your favourite member of the X-Men" threads don't really contribute to the forum. Depends how entertaining they are.
You MUST use proper English grammar and spelling
We're willing to give you some leeway if, y'know, English isn't your first language or whatever, but we don't want your text-speak, your leet or your faux-ebonics in here. If I had my way people who used 'u' as a pronoun would be shot in the face until they stopped moving.
You MUST NOT have an animated avatar or an image signature.
Basically, the idiots on the web have ruined this one for the rest of us. If image signatures or animated avatars are allowed, people take the piss with them. They get distracting at best, consume half the screen at worst, and the easiest option is just to ban them outright. We all have better things to do with our lives than arguing on the Internet as to why one anigif is fine and another is unacceptable.

Now, hopefully that should be fine. A moderator will warn you if you're stepping over the line, and if you don't pay attention - or if you do something so totally out of order we stop caring about due process - you'll get banned.
There's an implied fifth rule - don't be a jerk. We don't want to see anyone looking for things which are obviously going to irritate people and doing them just 'cause they're not explicitly banned, for instance. If we need to, we'll add more to this list, but I'd like to think we shouldn't have to.